Admit it. We are the most fortunate people on the face of the earth. Political campaigns aside, we enjoy a standard of living that is the marvel of most of the rest of the world……so smile and be happy! No, I have not gone Pollyanna on you……in fact I have decided to share my list of vexing issues with my readers. These considerations are in no particular order, and your list will be different….
1. Pants not pulled up (“sagging”), Please, for the love of all that is sacred, pull your pants up. You may need the hand clutching them in an effort to keep them from falling to your ankles, for something useful….
2. Butt cracks on display. A sweaty, dirty, often tattooed ass crack on display as I walk into a eatery is a masterful diet incentive.
3. Nancy Pelosi. I know it is California, and San Francisco at that, but really? Alfred E. Neuman would be a better representative.
4. Cigarette butts. As an enlistee in the Army, I picked up your butts from the lofty perch of my hands and knees. Our interesections, with their thousands of butts piled against the curbs, are clear evidence of the sloven nature of so many folks.
5. Celebrities who are going to move out of the country if Trump is elected. Please, go! Why wouldn’t you leave the greatest country on earth, where you have made your fortune, to live in another country who, when the chips are down, will most certainly look to America for protection?
6. Flipping other driver’s off. Driving is as much an art as it is a skill, and because you are commanding the movement of thousands of pounds of iron in motion, mistakes and aberrant decisions will be made. Read the papers folks, good people are being killed in road rage incidents. Taping your middle finger to your index finger would lend comic relief in your efforts to get shot…..
7. Hillary in the situation room when Bin Laden was killed. Why is that important? Why is that a qualification for elective office? She had a good seat, as a spectator, when something important happened. I have had many good seats at events and recognize my status as a spectator qualifies me for absolutely nothing.
8. Hillary. From the bottom of my heart, my perspective is non-partisan. She is a sordid, dishonest and vile human being. Why, America……why?
9. Well intentioned folks who carefully count out the exact change when purchasing something in the express line of any retail establishment. Express does not mean digging out your change purse and carefully counting pennies because your purse seems to be overpopulated with them, to pay for your bauble. Special mention to those who not only rely on the exact change approach, but also grade their folding money in terms of the condition of the bill…..you know, the oldest most wrinkled goes to the clerk.
10. Food stamp breakfasts at Starbucks. A six dollar Frappacino hardly qualifies as a nutritious start to your kid’s day.
11. Dirty hands. Folks who exit a reeking stall in a public restroom and head for the door without stopping for a little hand hygiene……please! The thought of touching the door handle as I exit the same restroom is repulsive.
12. Texting on the rowing machine. “Gym Rage” is a relatively unmentioned trend that is gaining traction with behavorial scientists, ( well, it should be, anyway!). Don’t climb your ample butt onto the rowing machine or weight bench and proceed to catch up with your cell buddies while the rest of us kill ourselves on the ab machine waiting you out.
13. Begging at intersections. Okay, I am cynical. The same folks, on the same corners each day, with their tattered signs indicating their sorry plight in life, aren’t registering with me. Often they are inconvienced by a help wanted sign at the same intersection impeding their ability to move freely about and gaze wistfully at passing motorists. Mention work to them and you will likely be assaulted with their coffee can or other prop.
They say that recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. I recognize my creeping intolerance and compensate by simply saying to Sharon or Tazzy, “there you go” when I encounter one of these dire situations. We smile…..we know….
There you go……