srj641

Holy Smokes……

Last night, actually this morning at 2AM, we were awakened by an explosion. I kid you not, I hopped up to see which house in the neighborhood was leveled by what had to be a horrible natural gas explosion. I was wrong.

Somebody, one street removed, and surely liquored up, thought the middle of the night would be a great time to set his fireworks off. This explosion, rivaling the blast of incoming mortar rounds in Vietnam, was followed by 3 more similar bangs. I will check this morning, but would not be surprised to find the street in front of their house cratered. He (she) surely has access to dynamite from a construction site. Such was the blast(s). I am no stranger to blasts, and this was a dandy series.

The wife of a Patrol colleague, many years ago, operated a fireworks stand on the Missouri line up north. He was modest about the profitability, but I suspected she did very well. On every corner, it seems, around Springfield, there is a tent, mostly bigger than ever, where fireworks are sold. In 2024, not an Anniversary year, America spent about 2.7 billion on fireworks. Listen up, 2.3 billion was spent by the consumer (tents) leaving a paltry .4 billion expended in commercial displays! Wonder which state is the fireworks leader? Look no further than home, where in 2025 Missourians spent 13.84 per person on fireworks. About 30% of these expenditures were online.The average back yard display set the shooter back between 200 and 500 dollars. Missourians, one hell of a patriotic folk, is just ahead of Nebraska and Kansas in sales. We have lots of rural ground and are flyover patriotic reflecting our love for this country.

Uh oh. The down side. In 2025 there was an estimated 13,029 fireworks caused visits to an ER (nationwide). Folks under 30 made up 63% of those injuries. I’m guessing they are more likely to to say “hold my beer and watch this”. Breaking this down, predictably, 29% of these injuries were to the hands and fingers and 19% to the head, face and ears. Eyes made up about 16%.

But wait, there is more. Americans while lighting them up, consumed over 150 million hotdogs, this in spite of 85% of folks grilling hamburgers and steaks! Wow, have times changed. Americans spent 8.9 billion on food on the 4th with about another 3.7 billion spent on alcohol. Finally, 56% of these expenditures were from Wal-Mart.

On a personal note, I worked many, many 4th Holidays while on the road and they all seemed to generate a tragedy, namely death and destruction. For me, it was the worst holiday period in a calendar year.

America is 250 years old. Enjoy this special 4th Of July, celebrate wisely, keep the Pepto Bismal close and stay out of the ER’s.

America has it going! Charge on……

Age And Circumstances….

Off and on deluges today have provided the perfect opportunity to sit around with the Command Staff (Sharon and Kai) and think about my age and circumstances and how they co-exist. The males in my lineage do not enjoy longevity, making me an exception to the early demise plague in the Johnson line. Still yet, I am having as much fun as is possible, seeing new things and enjoying new experiences. I would, however be less than candid if I failed to note things I miss in my life over the years.

In the outdoor world, I really miss the sound of the transom of a bass boat as it first slaps the water on an early Truman Lake morning. Arthritis and hand surgeries (4) have precluded the sound of a bass breaking water when hooked up or the gentile plop of a crappie jig in a promising spot. I recall with a smile a momma goose scolding us as we got the boat too close to her nest. I will never forget breakfast in a mom and pop restaurant with my fishing friends and the anticipation of a day on the water. I no longer burn wood, thus have sold my chainsaws and splitter. The scent of woodsmoke from an old stove should be bottled and sold as cologne. My hands have long ago negated the early morning summer rides on a motorcycle, catching the familiar smells of farm country where freshly turned earth and mowed hay offers the security we take for granted.

Honestly, I miss the feel and excitement of a Patrol Cruiser as you break 100 MPH in pursuit of a violator or handling some exigent circumstance requiring a police presence. An early breakfast and coffee stop in a local cafe, in uniform, always resulted in conversations with the locals who appreciated your presence, and I theirs. The sound of a jail cell door closing behind a miscreant, particularly a drunk driver, always made me smile.

Interviewing perspective guests for a free night at the county jail!

I miss the drum of a big green tractor as you till a field or the sound of a barber apron snapped open before a haircut and catching up on the news of the day in banter with the barbers. Finally, I suspect I have seen my last pain free day, arthritis and surgical corrections of a recalcitrant shoulder remind me that I am deep into the “golden years”. Please do not consider my musings as complaints or regret at today’s existence. I am in the middle of a good run and thank the Lord for giving me what I prayed for as a young man. Our life is as good as it gets…..given my age and circumstance and I hope you can say the same.

Have a great week!

Happy Father’s Day….

A short note today to wish all the father’s out there a Happy Father’s Day. There exists a lot of confusion today on the definitions of a father, to be expected from a society that his having a great deal of trouble discerning the difference between a man and a woman, both necessary to produce a child, thus the holiday “Father’s Day”.

Around our compound, a week or so in front of a holiday, the question hangs in the air like a dense river fog on the Gasconade on a summer morning. What do you want for Father’s Day? (Mother’s Day, birthday, etc.) More about that shortly.

Being a father isn’t easy, not to take away from being a mom…..I am confident my father, not a patient man, gave occasional thought to eliminating my presence as a favor to the world. It all came together, though, I became productive and fulfilled his vision early on that I would end up a “cop” or game warden somewhere, as my interests always were thus focused. He did not choose those vocations, but demanded productivity. It is all we can ask of our children, as their choices in life are theirs to make.

Kids are vexing. Of that’s there can be no doubt. Dad’s wander about wondering why it is we can not put their knowledge and experience to work for us, before remembering they suffered the same lack of focus. It is a fate that will forever remain wrapped in mystery.

Here it is. Thanks dad for imparting the wisdom I needed and did not ignore. Thanks for emphasizing the importance of reasonable behavior, sometimes at the end of a belt applied with love, and for honest assessments of situations I managed to get myself into. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, and starting my productivity cycle at the age of 15 in the form of an introduction to my first employer at the Ft. Leonard Wood Commissary where I mastered the art of bagging groceries.

Being a dad isn’t easy…..except when it is!

With all my heart, I wish you were still here. I hope I met your expectations. As for what I want for Father’s Day, the answer is simple but impossible. I want my life to continue as it is, two terrific and responsible kids, four grandchildren who understand productivity, a patient and knowing wife, a house and a young pup with lot’s of promise, and more years to fine tune that existence. I want those around me to respect me and at least give deference to the opinions I deserve to have. Is this too much? I think not…

Seventy-Six Years In The Acquisition Business…

I was languishing around the pool yesterday, a great place to avoid Sharon and her siren cry “honey, I need your help a minute”. At my advanced age, I still fall for the “minute” part. “There ain’t no such thing” my Ozark buddies would say. The pool is a first for me and I likely wouldn’t have one if Miss Sharon were less compelling……and she was right all along. My thought processes gravitated to the many things that were first acquisitions for me. A look back …..

My first shotgun was a Remington 1100, 12 ga with a 26” improved cylinder barrel, bought at the Ft. Leonard Wood PX (post exchange). My first rifle, from the same store was a 94 Winchester .30-30. I managed to dispatch a truck load of game with these “weapons of war” as the liberals would say. My first knife was a Schrade Old Timer, a dandy, but tough to keep sharp. My first rod and reel was a Garcia Conolon rod sporting a Mitchell 300 reel. My first “bass lure” was a bag of Creme Worms, purple in color, accompanied by a bag of 1/4 oz slip weights. It was deadly on the Chattahooche river that ran close by. My first dog was a fawn Boxer, whose full name was “Count Beano of Somerset”. I liked Beano, but had yet to develop my love for dogs.

My first chain saw was a Homelite 150 with a 16” bar. It was weak but light, a perfect saw for a novice sawyer. My very first hammer was a Estwing and I still have it, although the rubber handle is now hard as rock. My first power tool was Craftsman 1/4” drill, weak as a kitten. My first car, owned for a couple of months, was a red Simca, made in France and an abomination. It was followed by a red ‘67 GTO, still in my dreams to this day. My first owned home was a 12X60 mobile home with a Coleman furnace, mostly frozen plumbing and cooled by a window A/C that managed to cool the front room only. My first tractor was a high wheeled, Massey 65, gas, wide front. I am lucky to be alive as I mowed a hilly piece of ground with the damned thing, designed for perfectly flat row cropping. My first garden tiller was an Ariens front tine. It would beat you to death, but worked fine and was bullet proof. My first TV was a Zenith black and white, with a cable that ran from a pole mounted antenna. My first radio was a Sanyo transistor at the age of 13.

Each acquisition, back in the day, required a capital layout that strained a very limited budget. Credit cards didn’t exist as it was cash on the barrel head. I began gainful employment as a carry out boy, then EM in the service and state trooper. In the day, such employment left little room for extravagance. Since the beginning, I have owned an embarrassing array of cars, guns, tools, sporting equipment and fine knives. You might say blessed in a different way than Elon Musk, America’s first trillionaire businessman. You wouldn’t know it though…… it has been a good run….if not shamelessly materialistic. We all have a story…..think about your firsts….

Have a good week…

Pool Rules…..

Carnival Cruise lines has warned their guests that one needs to be careful what kind of swimming attire is appropriate for some of their ports of call. Monokinis, string thongs, and manikinis is are frowned upon. Forgive me, but we decided that before the summer season starts rolling, our pool needs rules. After all, we are first time pool people. Bear with me.

No running unless you are wearing a hockey helmet and non slip combat boots. If you fall and cut yourself, bleed on the lawn, not in the pool.
Swim at your own risk, your lifeguard is easily distracted.
Uttering “hold my beer” or “hey y’all watch this” is prohibited.
If inebriated, kindly throw up on the lawn and not in the water.
We are old, skinny dipping when we are cold sober is prohibited. We do not have a defibrillator. We do have a privacy fence, but our neighbors have ladders. You’ll end up on YouTube.
Deck chairs are not pool toys.
Our pool does not exist for us to care for your spawn from Satan kids.
Men need to remember that “my God she is only 14” needs to be understood.
We have swim wear rules too. String bikinis are prohibited if you are over 50. Men of all ages are prohibited from wearing banana hammocks. Your gift from God is your business not our guests.
If you have open sores, lacerations or loose bowels, please go to the Urgent care and forgo a day in our pool.
We provide red solo cups for you and us to enjoy your beverages of choice that you have brought. (Don’t forget ice)
Kai, our pool dog, lifeguard and companion will join you in the pool at his convenience. Do not give him alcohol.
Bring food. We love wings and pizza. Grandmas casseroles, soup and funeral potatoes are discouraged.
If you have no idea whether or not you are a man or woman, stop by, we’ll provide a map to the James River where you can swim too!

There you have it. Bring cold beer, pizza or a tub of wings, leave the kids with a sitter (unless really good kids) and come on. (Bring a chew toy for the lifeguard) Call first, I’ll have to wake the lifeguard!

Pool Administrator

Image Armor…

While attending the FBI National Academy, I chose an elective entitled stress management. It was taught by a couple of FBI psychologists who were supremely capable of delivering the sobering news. Policing is a high stress occupation and one where we often mask our true feelings. This mask was deemed “image armor” and recently my old agency experienced the true meaning of this descriptive.

What is the difference between an emergency room physician and a police officer aside from the obvious? ER docs tend to be in absolute control of their emotions, reacting mechanically to the event confronting them. They are wrapped in the trappings of extensive, grueling training in emergency medicine and are surrounded by a team of like minded professionals and the latest in technology enabling them to make life saving decisions on the run. Even so, they do not always enjoy success in their personal lives.

Police officers are often confronted with the same gruesome circumstances in a world where they are not supported by an immaculately trained staff, have only rudimentary equipment, often with families present and hellish circumstances they have no control whatsoever over. The stoic image we attempt to project is just that, an image. We are trained to respond coolly, maintain control, administer basic life saving measures while lending dignity to scenes that leave little room for such. In addition to the world we protect, the internal pressures of life in a paramilitary career can be taxing, and expectations that exceed normality are firmly in place. The political realities, alone, can be hellish with internal competition taxing to the orderly mind.

Each other is the ultimate police support system

The physician practices in a defined arena, staying in his or her lane as much as practical. The police arena is anything but defined. I recall talking a wife down from a hysterical plateau after cutting her drunken husband’s hands to ribbons with a paring knife, leaving him sitting on a concrete stoop in freezing temperatures. He was attempting an entry into their modest trailer house, thoroughly soused and enraged at some injustice, and she stopped him with the little knife. On another occasion, I was asked to help guide a young mother in the decision making process to harvest her 9 year old son’s organs as he lay dead in a cubicle mere feet from her in an ER. She had pulled out in front of a car, was broadsided and her son killed as a result. The conversation took its toll on my thought processes for years afterward. These are but two examples of what officers confront and keep bottled up inside, ever aware of the image they present.

I am not a psychologist, but am a retired police officer. Rural troopers are tasked with the full gamut of police services from homicides to suicides, from wrecks to family disturbances, from sudden death to marriage counseling and must project image armor in all cases. We are not always successful leading to an inordinate number of police professionals who are overwhelmed and terminate their worldly existence. The true tragedy is that more often than not, those around us have no clue as to what we feel. It is Image Armor that’s provides the insulation from reality. Our support systems are mostly internal as we are loathe to seek help when help is desperately needed.

What we project is often not what is real

God bless the modern centurion who strives for dignity in every situation and who may be suffering silently. It is not easy and leaves scars on one’s psyche.

From the heart..

The Ubiquitous Fence….

I have seen them all. Barbed wire, woven wire, mud, rock, chain link, vinyl and wood. Fences are everywhere, to no one’s surprise. Springfield is home to miles of wooden privacy fence, more than a little of which is ready for the burn pile. Nothing says caring like a properly maintained wood fence, often forming the first and lasting impression of the property laying behind.

When we contracted our current home, we recognized the fence was not up to our standards. It was supported by wooden posts, the pickets were pine and it was painted with a water based product. The gates were in terrible repair, eliciting oaths on every occasion when put into use. The fence had to go. We have a large yard, and a new fence was no small consideration. My research began. The choice of materials was easy. In virtually every respect cedar is superior to pine. A quick google search will tell you why. Our previous fences were pine to our chagrin. We live in a wind tunnel and our yard is irrigated. In virtually every case, wooden posts are inferior to hot dipped galvanized posts of the schedule 40 variety. Wooden posts succumb to wind pressure and wet ground. My years of fishing Truman Lake reminded me of the durability of cedar, as I have left hundreds of dollars worth of baits imbedded in cedar trees that were submerged for nearly 50 years. Cedar cost is about 30% more than pine, and for good reason.

So, we researched local fencing companies that offered steel posts, state of the art fastening systems and steel framed gates that are infinitely adjustable instead of the cheaper gates, some steel framed, that offered zero adjustments while sagging unmercifully.

Steel framed gates, totally adjustable if needed

A second experience based observation. There are a number of companies that offer water based coatings for your fence. Do NOT do it. Wooden fences need to be finished with oil based, penetrating products unless of course you want to paint them with alarming regularity.

We chose a company, Ozark Fence and Supply, offering 60 years of experience, steel posts and cedar pickets. Their crews know just what in the hell they are doing. We could not be happier. They removed our eyesore and replaced it with a state of the art, penetrating oil finished cedar fence, hung on galvanized steel, and schedule 40 posts DRIVEN into the ground 3 feet deep. Our installers, Scott Robinson and his understudy, Justin, believed that perfection is just good enough. Their fence is superior in every way to our previous pine fences hung on 4X4 pine posts, sporting gates that sagged from the beginning. Thanks guys, your care and precision says volumes.

All cedar from cross rails to pickets, pre-finished with a penetrating oil stain

This writing represents a fraction of the knowledge gained researching fences and installations while living with pine fences. Take my advice, choose wisely and enjoy the quality of like built fences for years to come. In ten years, you’ll thank me.

How Old Is Your Dog……

“If the reader wisely considers all that is laid down, he will find here the end of the premium mobile; a hedge lives for three years, add dogs, horses and men, stags and ravens, eagles, enormous wales, the world: each one following triples the year of the one before.” (The inscription made in the floor of Westminster Abbey in 1268 by the artisans, probably a prediction of judgement day.)

Is this the beginning of the erroneous adage that dog’s live in human terms in the ratio of 7-1, dog years vs. human years? Who knows? What is known is that dog lovers have since ancient times been aware their furry companions are destined for a very early demise, each leaving indelible marks on our souls.

Modern charts depicting a dog’s age, take into account the size of the dog. Big guys generally leave us earlier than little guys, to the disadvantage of folks like us that want them big, ravenous and affectionate. Then there is the scientific reality that chronological age does not equate to biological age. If only it were that simple. We must accept the world would be a very crowded place if dogs were placed here as forever critters. This consideration, alone, is a matter between dog owners and the Supreme Being.

I love complicated things, it is why I am married to a complicated woman, with a mind that fairly dances. A geneticist , Dr, Steve Horvath, from UCLA, suggests that we (dogs and people) have an epigenetic clock, which is a reflection of our epigenome, which is reflective of our DNA which tracks our biological age which may not be in synch with our chronological age. Wow…..a mouthful of science for a simple process.

Here is where I am going. Something accounts for the obvious decline in dog longevity over the past decade or so. This is attributed to certain epigenome triggers, such as nutrient levels in food, chemicals in food, physical activity, stress, obesity, pesticides, metals,particulate matter (smoke) and other air pollutants.

Mr. Kai enjoys a delicious pupcicle, veges and chicken broth

Six beautiful labs and two energetic and bright German Shorthair Pointers have come and gone in our household, each loved a little differently but passionately nonetheless. Dogs are the centers of our household, requiring the same care and attention as we provide each other. I am going to leave this with a single thought; we reflect poorly on our innate IQ’s. We feed unadulterated crap to our pets and eat the same, (dogs and humans have absolutely no need for carbohydrates in any form), we subject our dogs to the same epigenetic triggers we live in and at the end of the days scratch our heads and butts while wondering what is wrong and why our respective longevities are headed south. I write as I enjoy a cup of coffee (good), sliced fresh peaches (good) and a slice of almond Kringle from Trader Joe’s (bad).

I speak for all of us when I suggest we do better by our dogs and selves and give conscious thought about what ages us. We can impact the age of our demise……but not without a concerted effort. Believe me….

Have a great week!

Buying Houses…

I know just enough about house shopping and buying houses. My itinerate lifestyle has landed me in a number of homes, a bunker or two and a shelter half on occasion in Vietnam. After retiring, I hired out to an old school, German builder in the Jefferson City area with the understanding he was to teach me to build from the footings to the finish. He applied German craftsmanship to his prodigious carpentry skill and began my education. I loved it..and my education ended with my contracting our Truman lake home and participating in its build from A-Z.

When we shopped for our current home, I went to work to find the scars, warts and shortcomings that every house has. This house was built by one of Springfield’s better builders and we couldn’t be happier. It is, however, 10 years old and improvements were needed. We budgeted a generous home improvement purse…and are spending it right along. The cost of materials today has left me shaking my head in disbelief and we are ever so fortunate to locate and buy this home with Sharon’s (and Kai’s) pool in a very nice burb of Springfield. We could not build it today for what we paid…not even close.

We have remodeled the master closet, ridding ourselves of the wire shelving, anchored by countless mollies and occasional stud fasteners. We have replaced the water heater, installed a nice water softner, and will be tearing out 350” of wooden privacy fence and replacing it with a like number of new privacy fence, replete with steel posts and gate frames, scheduled for next week. We have installed a reverse osmosis water system. The landscaping was in relatively poor shape and needed to be torn out and the mounds of wooden mulch replaced with washed river rock. A whole house Generac is now in place and we completely remodeled the spacious garage, previously in use refinishing old cars. The yard was average, but is rising to the Johnson standard, courtesy of our lawn service, Ryans. Our aluminum pergola with shutters is installed at pool side and the landscaping in the back yard is rocked and coming along nicely. The late Sgt. Bob Plymell, my early patrol supervisor, was fond of saying that all things were possible with enough time and money. Bob, you nailed it.

Sharon’s summer fantasy and a shot of the old fence soon to be ashes

Giving credit where credit is due, up until a month or so ago, Ms. Sharon did the “heavy lifting” as a result of my new shoulder, a prodigious task but handled nicely by the farm girl in her. We have added a saber toothed tiger, excuse me, I meant lab puppy to our fold and he is busy helping with the new decor…if he can reach it.

Complaint? Nope I love it and thank the Lord daily for what we have. I am also at the age where I don’t want to do it again…..and believe we have finally found our forever home. Tall talk for a little Indian, married to a younger and more adventurous wife…so who knows.

The moral of this story? Choose your builder with the care you exercise when choosing your doctor, have a contingency fund and take Valium before shopping for materials. Then enjoy the experience…

Have a great week!

McPherson College and Cars, Cars, Cars…..

We spent quality time among thousands of other car enthusiasts at an annual event showcasing some of the finest automobile restorations on the planet. Hundreds of them to be more precise. Along the way I toured the various shops where every conceivable aspect of automotive restorations is taught by professors who KNOW this industry and history. To say it was fascinating would be a huge understatement.

This exclusive program conveys 4 year bachelors degrees on fifty students a year carefully selected to become trained by master mechanics and artisans in this fascinating craft. Before you ask, there are ladies, albeit few, who are being trained along side their male counterparts.

Here is the deal. When working on vintage autos, you don’t ring your local NAPA store for parts, you make them from scratch. These students are exposed to the deep secrets of forming metals, building engines, upholstering, instrumentation, and designing the myriad of components that are no longer available. Today, after years of windshield time, I began to appreciate the differences in manufacturing strategies and the genius in the industry. The shops smelled of the shops my readers will remember from 50-75 years ago, oil, rubber and steel. Students are also exposed to the nuances of woods……found in many vintage cars.

Predictably, the muscle car era is well represented. Cars are an international matter, with virtually every industrialized country contributing to the industry, but US made iron predominates. This event marries the beauty of custom restoration with mechanical genius and gives the student a solid foundation in this coupling. Justus, my grandson was ever so fortunate to be selected to this program, fueling his grandfather’s pride. It is not law school, nor the stuff of MBA programs…….rather a lesson in history, science and artistry. Enjoy the pictures and ride along with me as we pay homage to an industry producing a product that all the grad school professionals really envy….. the automobile.

A blown hemi powered a vintage Dodge delivery van.

Hammers are still a tool of necessity when shaping metal

When you fire this car up, the vacuum at the intake will suck your socks off!

The transmission shop. You tear them down and put them back together

A Cadillac concept car…the basis for many Caddy designs today

The paint shop. Restorations turn around paint and finish….this school teaches this art in depth

Upholstery classroom. Restorations also turn around artists who become accomplished seamstresses, relying on vinyls, leather and rugs

Remember the art of pin striping before the tape and robot applications today? Hand painted and near perfection..

Welded and shaped before finishing. The weld will be totally invisible under lacquers and exotic paints. This fender was shaped from straight, flat stock.

Jay Leno, a benefactor to this program, helps with tuition. In the summers, when students are out of school, he matches their earning in summer jobs in offsets to their tuition in the amount earned. Thanks, Jay!

I took hundreds of pictures, too many to publish, but kept as a reminder of the automobile industry that is engrained into each of us. A noble history, in the hands of these artisans in training by masters in the trade. Charge on Justus, I can’t wait to see your vintage BMW project car when you are done.

Have a good week!

Menu