srj641

Words have meanings and meanings change, depending on the part of the country you are standing in, tradition and custom. These subtle aberrations in the spoken word are referred to as colloquialisms, language outside of rigid, literary or formal language. They often find themselves in written language as well. Linguists can determine the region that folks are from by listening carefully to the nuances of their spoken word or by studying their written words, assuming the writer isn’t hung up on formal discourse. Here is where I am going with this.

A gentleman works out at the gym most mornings that I am there. The guy has thin legs but is a hulk from the waist up and constantly engages in an exercise designed to strengthen his legs. He picks up an incredibly heavy free weight, the kind that slides onto a bar, and cradles it while walking the track. His gait is steady and determined and he walks for quite awhile. We exchange pleasantries as I walk past him after my exercise regimen, and I usually offer a bit of humor as I pass him. His regimen takes me back to the age of 10 when I was challenged by my grandfather to pick up a watermelon from our South Carolina watermelon patch and “tote” it to the house where we would break it open and eat the sweet center or “heart” of the melon before I was to “tote” the remainder to the pig pen to the delight of the hogs. In the Deep South, in those days, you toted stuff….not carried. “Carry” was reserved for another kind of movement.

On our Saturday morning drives into town, McIntyres Feed store specifically, if I was to go along, I was “carried” to town not driven. You carried folks in the old truck, which was a half ton powder blue Ford, with a bench designed for a driver and two passengers. If a person needed a ride, the offer was to carry him, not drive him. In Missouri, generally speaking, tote and carry mean entirely different things.

I told my friend at the gym this story and when we see each other these days, we agree he is toting the weight in deference to my southern heritage. We agree on another aspect of my experience as a boy. We would each much prefer to tote a weight as opposed to a watermelon. You can hold on to the weight in a variety of ways but a big watermelon is a pain to tote very far. Japan has recently perfected growing square watermelons, seriously, which would make toting much simpler!

There are hundreds of regional colloquialisms out there, but they are being screened out of our discourse by the incredible mobility of today’s population. Missouri is where north meets south, and the variances are less apparent, but there is a remarkable difference in language patterns from, say Michigan to South Carolina. I was fairly adept at correctly guessing the home region of folks I encountered on the road after just a short conversation, but could nail it if they offered tote and carry in the southern tradition.

Have a great day!

SR

The difference in males and females didn’t interest me much until about 1960, when I hit the age of 10. We were living in Okinawa and I developed a fascination with a classmate named Joanne Kaneshiro. Joanne was cute as hell, dressed well for a kid that age and possessed a confident way about her that captivated me. She was also smart enough to keep boys out of her realm, preferring the company of other girls who shared her aptitudes. Sex wasn’t on my radar scope, just the allure of cute, cuddly and totally aloof. I had no idea this fascination would follow me my entire life, providing some wonderful memories and, being fair, same damned tough times as well.

Enter the ‘60’s and my fascination took a dramatic turn. It was then I understood why the Master made boys and girls different and equipped us with mean little glands producing testosterone and estrogen with a few other hormones thrown in. It has been a whirlwind since. In High School I was truly thankful, in Biblical terms, for the differences between a man and a women. I was fascinated by baseball, fast cars and pretty girls , and not necessarily in that order. The laws of nature be damned, I knew full well that fastball, belt high, down the middle, to a good hitter, was gonna lose you a baseball over the fence. I knew there was always a faster car out there when you slipped out onto I-44 and paired them off in an illegal “speed contest upon a public highway”, and that pretty girls could play hell with your judgement and previously established course in life. I outgrew baseball, quit street racing when I entered the Army and am still confounded by the mystery of the female mind and allure. That is as it has always been.

The point is this. In the golden age of sexual politics, we knew who the players were. With rare exception, I could readily identify the closest human being as a male or female. Sexual aberrations existed, but tended to stay within the lanes. Males were males and females were females. Today, you are going to get your ass in a crack (so to speak) by prejudging gender by appearance. As an example, I try to compliment people that I interact with, which sets a nice tone for the interaction. We drove through one of the myriad of coffee purveyors last week, and the comely young roadside barista had really gorgeous nails and other wise seemed to comport to the standards of an attractive young lady. I complimented her on her nails, and in return in a distinctly male baritone voice, HE thanked me. I was stunned…….she was, at some point, a he and I assumed otherwise. Sharon smiled, sensing my disbelief, and as we drove off reminded me to never assume when it comes to sexuality. I like the old days better, when I, beyond a reasonable doubt, knew what or who in the hell I was dealing with.

It is complicated out there and I am getting old. It is not fair to challenge a 70+ old man with sexual ambiguity. I still admire a confident, attractive lady at any age, but don’t need the added responsibility of establishing gender in an effort to rely on the appropriate pronoun when addressing them. To the ladies before this confusing era, who were proud of their gender, God bless you. To the gender shifting folks that have become popular today, my apologies. I was relying on old, reliable science when I made the assumptions that are sure to offend you. Now I have this to worry about!

Have a great week!

SR

This year’s Masters Tournament reminds us that Mother Nature is in charge. She is, however, off her meds, evidenced by the winds this spring, which are playing hell with just about every pursuit in the great outdoors. We keep flags in stock as the wind destroys even the best triple stitched offerings from US manufacturers. Wind always presents a problem for folks who fish, hunt, boat, canoe, golf, motorcycle jockeys, pilots and folks who drive convertibles. In fact, outside of buzzards, hawks, sailing ships and wind farm owners…..there are really few admirers of wind.

To be fair, wind has some advantages. It disperses plant seed in a process called anemochory, as well as pollen. When plants are dispersed by the wind, they release a hormone, “auxin”, that stimulates cell growth. Enough botany, the point is you have to really look to find the positive attributes of wind. Botany aside, a little science is in order.

Wind is the product of the uneven heating of the earth by the sun. It is also the movement of air from a high pressure zone to a low pressure zone. The average wind speed in Springfield is highest between October 15th and May 17th, when it averages 7.6 MPH. So far in 2024 it has averaged 11.6 MPH. Climatologists love labels, climate change, weather cycling and such…but we Ozarkians will tell you we have had a hell of a lot of wind lately. My instrumentation is comprised of a flag on a pole and the effort to paddle a long eddy against the wind on a float trip. My suspicions are confirmed when I drive a topless Orange Crush in a cross wind, and have to hold my hat on much like Junior did for Sheriff Justice in Smokey and the Bandit. My anemometer is a long pole with a crappie jig and a big bow in the line resulting in the necessity for tired old eyes to watch for the “tic” in the line telling me the slab has it. City folks need a meteorologist to help them with the weather, while hill folks step out the door to check their weather rock. We learned a long time ago what wind means when you pee outside.

Wind, at its most destructive as in the Hurricane of 1780 which killed some 20,000 people in the Caribbean, or the 1970 Cyclone in India that killed 300,000 people is nothing to be trifled with. We are fortunate (outside of our experience with tornadoes) but still prefer wind closer to the old averages. I can’t imagine life in Dorothy’s Kansas, where the wind never stops. Enough with the wind, Mother Nature, we want to go out and play!

Have a great week!

SR

The real costs in today’s economy were driven home this past week. Throughout most of my life, I have avoided paying someone to do what I could do for myself. Age and circumstance have reduced the range of everyday considerations that I once was able to tackle with a little guidance and research, to an embarrassingly short list. As an example, working off a ladder is not in my wheelhouse any longer and I never had the aptitude to mess with electricity or anything that water runs through, but could tackle a minor plumbing issue or reset a breaker. This week, I was exposed to the cost of hiring pros to do jobs that I could not handle. You, too, may find yourself in this dilemma.

Earlier this week, I drove the Orange Crush to my local tire shop for a routine tire rotation, included in the outrageous price of the run flat, low profile tires required on the little car. The wheels each had a locking lug bolt (European cars have bolts, not nuts). The locks were frozen, and the key did not budge them. Off to the BMW dealer, who has master keys, who promptly broke two of his master keys leaving one of the lockers intact. The service manager was kind, and since they were unable to complete the job, sent me on my way for a nominal charge. I then cruise into my mechanic who had the tools to drill the lock bolt and remove it. He did not need to drill, as one of the techs was experienced with this problem and was able to remove the bolt. This adventure cost over 400.00. I go back to the tire shop,where we discover one of the non-locking bolts is also very tight, and now rounded off. They sent me to yet another shop, where a tech had a special tool for frozen nuts/bolts and 10 minutes in, removed the bolt, without drilling. I have no idea what this charge was as it was passed directly to the tire retailer, who by the way is the only place the lug bolts on this car have been touched. My tire dealer, Discount Tire, has been gold relative to this adventure, stepping up and paying for the bolt problem in the form of a credit at the store, covering the exorbitant expense to date. I have installed new, non-locking bolts and will never use the locking kind again (they were original equipment on the car).

We are doing a gradual re-model and asked an electrician to offer a cost proposal for a list of some 7 routine issues. Installation of a hard wired range hood being the most challenging, with a new entry light fixture and a non functioning porch light socket and replacement of garage door lamps being included. It was easily a day’s work for an experienced tech. They came back with a proposal of over 4,000 to handle these projects. My response was hell no. The problem is, this job is apparently a nuisance to the guys making good money on big projects. We are still looking although the last company wanted 70.00 to come by and offer a proposal.

Let’s wrap this up. At our Ram dealer, the hourly rate for a mechanic is just under 150.00. The hourly rate for a tech at the garage that freed the sticky bolt is 168.00. US Automotive, that was able to remove the frozen lock bolt is 128.00. These shops all demand, and are getting, north of 130.00 to change the oil in the Crush. These are tasks that I did for myself once upon a time, but are no longer within my capabilities. Do I begrudge these guys. No……..with emphasis, I do not. It is the price of living in the vicious inflationary climate that exists today. We are all in this race, and unless something tames inflation, we are going to sink. All things are possible with enough time, money and tools. Tell that to the 176 folks just laid off at the Bass Pro boat manufacturing division, because of “inflation, interest rates and the economy”. (We have a chance to flatten this trajectory in November….)

Experience and skill has a price.

Have a great week!

SR

This week started out pretty normal for a couple of aging middle Americans enjoying good health and many of the advantages that living in a conservative state offer. There is no evidence of defunding our police and we are free to own whatever appliances and cars we want to, within reason of course. We are not washing our clothes on a flat rock in a creek somewhere and our water comes through a pipe and not out of a cistern or hand dug well. We have however, reached the conclusion the conveniences of modern ordinary Americans is undoubtedly in the hands of a genie, like the Wizard of Oz, sitting at a console someplace, whose job it is to keep us grounded in reality and level the playing field.

When you get ahead a bit, the genie checks the work sheet and sends a reminder not to get complacent and confident. When Sharon slips into a room and calls me SR with just the right inflection and tone, I know something is off the tracks. This week was an example of the genie (probably sitting in China where most of what we use today is manufactured) catching us up on sticker shock and reality.

Our washer and dryer was in appliance hospice. Weak but functioning, with anybody’s guess as to when it was going to throw ace/deuce and put us in panic mode. Sharon listed the tired old appliances on a Facebook marketplace and gained 16 responses in 30 minutes. We recouped a pittance toward the purchase of new stuff priced high enough to require a stout Gin and Tonic and a moment of reflection. It was installed and promptly began leaking (drain hose improperly affixed to the machine) which is a good thing as we then discovered the dryer vent hose was not properly connected to the outlet. (The installers are connected to the genie)

Wednesday of this week, Sharon walks into my office with that easily recognized “SR’ and told me the microwave would not heat her coffee. It was, in fact, dead, making all the appropriate noises with no function. It had been repaired, under warranty, about a year ago. The warranty was expired (late March). We are replacing the microwave with a range hood and going to a table top model. Anyone working in an office knows these last for years, weaker but functioning.

Yesterday I slipped out to get the first rotation of the tires on the Orange Crush. The tech walked into the waiting area and told me they could not get the locking lug bolts to break free with the provided key. I took the car to the local BMW dealer who has master keys to handle this job. The tech found me after a bit and told me he broke two master keys but one of the bolts would not break free ( I wanted all lock bolts removed and thrown in the river, replaced with normal lug bolts.) He said they would likely have to drill the bolt out and ruin the wheel in doing so. The estimate was $1,498.00. My response was, with emphasis, “oh hell no”. I am still researching my options here. (Before you ask, the tire dealer assured me the bolts were hand torqued when I bought these tires 6 months ago.) Any ideas out there would be appreciated.

The genie has exacted a toll this week and we need no further evidence of the inflationary cycle we are living in. I want to find him, buy him a drink, and send him to Jeff Bezos’ place where money is not a concern. We have replaced nearly every damned appliance in our home and I have asked Sharon to please approach me carefully when the HVAV system goes on the fritz. We plan to take every extended warranty we are offered, something I have never considered before now, just to provide some peace of mind. Our neighbors have asked us to not touch anything major in their home and to put in a word with the genie if I can find him.

I mean nothing personal if you call me by name and I respond with “hell no”. It is a conditioned reflex and I am a little jumpy these days. Such is life in the middle class where convenience comes with a price!

Have a great week!

SR

At 74 YOA, you would think I could be trusted to go out in the world and buy a dozen doughnuts, or God forbid, a washer and dryer. It turns out that I am woefully unqualified for either endeavor, having failed to grasp the nuances of venturing forth in the retail world. These things become apparent when an ordinary buyer, me, marries a consummate shopper, Sharon. I have been schooled, but sincerely doubt I’ll meet the standards for membership in the exclusive group of folks who strike fear in the best sales representatives out there. Let me explain.

A week or so ago, in our quest to sample the table fares of eateries in Springfield, we hit a little eatery that was, well dismal. We saddled up, and decided on a doughnut to assuage our hunger. I was driving and slid comfortably in the drive through at a local Krispy Kreme. Then the wheels, so to speak, fell off. I thought a half dozen doughnuts with a single creme filled kicker, ought to do the job for Taz, Sharon and me. If you are up to speed at this point, you are a buyer, not a shopper. Between the ordering kiosk and the window, I learned that I had botched this entire experience up. I learned that if you order a dozen instead of merely 6, your next visit would net you a free dozen. Who would have thought it. I also learned the deal was for glazed and the creme filled kicker killed the deal, unless ordered in addition to the dozen not in place of one of the dozen. I next learned the creme filled was not what I wanted, rather I wanted a Bavarian Creme filled. Finally, the cost of 6 of the cursed things was just a few bucks less than a dozen, which Sharon earmarked 6 for our neighbors who liked doughnuts. If I am able shake this experience off, I am going to ask my attorney to go with me the next time I have a hankering for a doughnut.

Shaken, but not undaunted, Sharon and I ventured out to buy a washer and dryer to replace the 10 year old machines that had served us well, but were exhibiting signs of imminent failure, ready for washing machine hospice. I thought that learning to fly was challenging but it is nothing compared to selecting a new washer. Sharon, again, was well ahead of the curve in her research, schooling me on the differences between impellers and agitators with a subtle reference to hybrids, reflecting both features at once. Next I was schooled on the merits and demerits of top load vs. front load, and now can carry forth with the best washer salesmen (women) out there. Finally, I can cite facts and figures from a number of reputable sources as to the performance, reputation and serviceability of the major brands on the market. I was ready to write the check after the first of 6 stops in Springfield, which would have been a critical error. Sharon, with her research and study of no less than 10 reviews, telephoning of friends and relatives literally all over the country, was focused, leaving me feeling like the guy tossing balls at Bozo the clown at the State fair. She finally settled on exactly what she wanted and Costco will be delivering it next week.

It is always this way. I am a buyer, a mark to even the most inexperienced sales staff out there. My union with a professional shopper has saved me from the blissful, challenged man at home choking down the wrong kind of doughnut while his new washer clangs around, using too much water and not deep cleaning as some of the newer technology does. The washer would have been too small to knock out a comforter and Tazzy’s blankets and certainly would have been configured incorrectly.

I am a buyer in remission. She is my perfect companion, with her deft ability to steer me away from dreaded buyers remorse, likely a fatal malady at my advanced age. God bless you kiddo and stay close. I appreciate your allowing me to buy guns, boats and tools….although experience has taught me to run even these things by you!

Have a great week!

SR

A cup of coffee on a cool morning found me reflecting on the really great things I have been privileged to experience in my lifetime. The cars of the ‘60’s were all about displacement and horsepower. The women about understated sophistication and raw beauty ensconced in denim and exuding warmth and honesty. The cinema relied less on special affects and more on substance with story lines being far more important than computerized imagery. I have been a movie guy from the time I was able to pony up fifty cents at a box office, usually on an Army base, to escape the military routine for an hour or so. I have spent hours in a theater and been blessed with a wife who enjoys the escape that good movies provide as much as I do. Today I am offering a synopsis of my 10 all time favorites for your review. The mention of any of these films always elicits a smile…..

1. The Graduate

A wonderful coming of age film, shot in 1967, about a college graduate (Dustin Hoffman) who has his degree and lacks focus as to “what’s next”. He is seduced by an older lady (Anne Bancroft) and falls in love with her daughter (Katherine Ross). He is in a pickle that perfectly describes that tenuous time when young men are guided by instinct, testosterone and confusion. It is ranked 17 on the list of all time great movies. Raw and honest comes to mind.

2. Christmas Vacation

Chevy Chase is at his best in this 1989 classic Christmas movie. The cast is star studded, the acting superb and the humor elicits side splitting laughter. Randy Quaid is damn near type casted playing the hillbilly relative who shows up with his crude but honest persona. His surprise appearance during the Holidays is superbly cast and written. The humor is timeless and we have seen this film many times. We have all lived through similar Christmas vacations……

3. Bullitt

This 1968 film, shot on the streets of San Francisco intensely sharpened my desire to become a police officer. It has it all, the macho image of swaggering Steve McQueen, a vintage Mustang, car chases and the adorable Jacqueline Bisset to offset the excitement laden car chases. McQueen was at his best as a detective on the hunt.

4. Shawshank Redemption

A 1994 film starring Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbin’s shot in Mansfield, Ohio. This is about con men in a prison where relationships are really all you have. Morgan Freeman is splendid in his role as a wise man among wise men in a prison setting. This movie is all about the acting chops of Freeman, understated excellence and immensely entertaining.

5. Schindler’s List

A 1993 tour de force. Liam Neeson is Oskar Schindler who saved well over a thousand Polish/Jewish folks from the holocaust by employing them in his factories during the war. Filmed in Krakow, Poland, Schindler must navigate the twisted world of WWII German occupation while maintaining an image of the good German industrialist.The cast includes such notables as Ben Kingsley and Ralph Fiennes taking the viewer on an emotional ride the likes of which few films can. Both educational and deeply disturbing, you won’t be disappointed with this terrific film.

6. Saving Private Ryan

Tom Hanks is superb (when is he not) in this 1998 film about an American Infantry company on a deadly mission to bring a WWII serviceman home to save him from the fate of his brothers, already killed in combat. This movie was filmed in England and Ireland and features Edward Burns, Matt Damon and Tom Sizemore as soldiers supporting their Captain in this deadly mission. Believe me when I tell you that Spielberg is at his best here, with the combat footages being as close to real as you will ever see. The efficiency of a rifle round, and the sounds of small arms fire is captured brilliantly. If you have ever wondered what combat is like this will help you to understand. In war, death comes quickly.

7. E.T.

I loved this show. If you let yourself go, empathize with the little extra-terrestrial, and identify with the young man’s attempt to get the alien back where he belongs, this one will get you. This was filmed in 1982 and stars Dee Wallace, Henry Thomas and Drew Barrymore. The special affects are necessary to pull this one off and evokes an “Old Yellow” kind of emotion with a better ending. One can get lost in this movie, in a good way.

8. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Shot in 1975, in and around a mental institution in Salem, Oregon, this movie showcases the incredible skills of Jack Nicholson with an interesting performance by Danny DeVito. Nicholson feigns insanity to gain entrance to a mental institution as opposed to prison and is incredible in his ability to identify with and manipulate the patients and staff. It is listed as #33 on the list of all time great movies but could easily be in the top 10. This movie garnered 5 academy awards, an amazing acknowledgement of its incredible power. Nicholson has never been better.

9. In The Heat Of The Night

This 1967 film captures the racial overtones of policing in the Deep South with terrific performances by Rod Steiger and Sidney Poitier. It is a sweaty portrayal of the emotions prevalent in that day and time. This is a gritty movie, nominated for 5 Academy Awards, and brings small town Mississippi to the screen. The portrayals by these guys is powerful in every sense of the word. The age, the circumstances and the police…..

10. The Shootist

This was John Wayne’s last film, shot in 1976. Wayne died in 1979. He plays an aging gunfighter who tallied thirty killings before being diagnosed with terminal cancer by a doc who guarantees a painful death and suggests he (the doc) would not want to die that way. Wayne ends up going out in a blaze of glory, racking up several more kills before his final, dramatic ending in a bar fight. I loved John Wayne, a swaggering hulk who took no bunk from anyone throughout his film career. This movie was a fitting end to his tremendous career, is a western classic and featured a star laden supporting cast.

Of the hundreds of movies I (we) have seen, these immediately come to mind, although there are several others that merit consideration. My purpose here is not to persuade, or even solicit affirmation, rather to provoke thought about your list. Hollywood is seeking political relevance today and has become a special affects cauldron of noise and light while abandoning reality. What a shame…..For me, the plot needs to be at least plausible. I am not a sci-fi kind of guy and loved it when Hollywood was cool.

Have a great week!

SR

Sharon and I recently gave serious consideration to pulling up stakes and moving to the country, as both our roots are firmly planted in farm dirt and the sounds of nature as opposed to the urban drone of traffic, sirens and neighbors close enough to listen to March Madness on your television. We sat down and worked through a detailed analysis of why we should and why we should not return to the country. Not surprisingly, the ability to enjoy a variety of table fare surfaced on our list of needs and wants. Big Time. After over ten years living in Springfield, we have managed to establish a less than inclusive listing of favorite eateries, a difficult task as there are more than 600 places to eat in and around this overgrown cow town. On my big day, when my mortal remains are in a vase, folks would do well to remember that from birth until the end, I enjoyed groceries. (In retrospect, I should have been a chef.) We believe it is time to pay homage to our current favorites in and around Springfield. Here is how we see it.

Like Mexican or Tex Mex? We like Senor Julian’s, where authenticity is stressed. Next up is Cesar’s Old Mexico, which offers ambiance and ample portions of really good table fare. In a sea of Mexican offerings, these guys rise above the pack.

Yearning for Italian? It is hard to beat Bambino’s Cafe on Delmar, where the restaurant is in a house like setting, and the food both delectable and uncomplicated. Following closely is Avanzare, upscale, and a little more complicated.

In terms of the Far East, we prefer Nakato’s for Japanese, hibachi style food, although at my age getting up from the floor after eating can be a spectacle. We travel to Lebanon for sushi and Bento Boxes, from a little eatery, the Sushi House, intimate and simply wonderful. Everyday Thai serves up authentic Thai fare, with little heat or a 4 alarm kick, as Thai should be.

Ozarkians love breakfast, and Springfield delivers a variety of choices. For solid, country style breakfasts at a very reasonable price, Cedars is the go to. For a little more variety, then enjoy the wonderful crepe’s at the Aviary, with the Lemoncello being simply delightful. Note, their coffee is stout here, a small price to pay for delectable choices, but will set you upright in your chair.

Thinking fish? The catfish at B-29 and FD’s is hard to beat as well as the fillets at Republic’s Flat Creek Inn. As long as we’re talking fried, there is an art to good hamburgers and we think the Gathering Place, WF Cody’s and the Black Sheep in Chesterfield have this All American specialty down pat. Black Sheep also offers a french fry that is not a run of the mill, crinkle cut, from the freezer, standard. Good fries are a necessity with a perfectly prepared burger.

Craving the gospel bird? Rosie Jo’s takes the blue ribbon. Pan fried, served up with proper sides, also fresh and lots of iced tea will take you back to grandmother’s table. Flat Creek also does a pretty good job with chicken. As a side note, the clientele at Rosie’s is comprised of folks straight from the countryside, warm and friendly. You may have to wait, but it is certainly worth it.

You cannot swing a cat without hitting a pizza or Chinese place in Springfield. We have tried many of them, and they mostly taste the same. With us, Pappo’s is the best pizza, a little unique and very consistent and their fresh baked cookies are decadent. Corner 21, across from Mercy hospital on Sunshine, is a little, obscure restaurant that serves up wonderful Chinese fare, closer to authentic than anywhere in town. I lived in the orient for many years and have high expectations. They meet them and more. It is easy to drive by this place, so be looking.

Missing from our list is really good BBQ. There is a reason. Like Consumer Reports with their “recommended” list for cars….well, we have a problem here as Sharon’s smoker eclipses the local offerings. We also lived in and around KC. Sorry guys, BBQ is not a strength in this area.

Finally, when we are looking for a quick deli style sandwich, our go to’s are consistently Nearly Famous and the Brown Derby Deli both serving up terrific sandwiches, in an inviting atmosphere.

In the off the beaten path genre, we recommend Cafe Cusco, located downtown. It serves up Peruvian dishes that are absolutely wonderful and a little different.

When you visit our town, this guide will should get you started. We have visited many eateries around here, and have many more to go, but wanted to offer suggestions to our friends who are making a sojourn to Bass Pro or other Springfield attraction. We mostly eschew chains, preferring locally owned and managed establishments, where good service is the norm. Come on down and enjoy our offerings in the Queen City.

Have a great week!

SR

I thought my readers, mostly conservatives, would appreciate an encapsulation of the events of the past few weeks down in Georgia. Not since Billie Joe jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge has there been this much excitement. Face it, we all like Cliffs Notes versions of momentous events, so here we go.

1. Fani and Nathan, a pair of morally bankrupt attorneys, shack up some years ago.

2. Fani is a District attorney and sets out to nail Donald Trump for election interference relying on a criminal enterprise law normally reserved for organized crime cases. (RICO)

3. Fani hires her stud muffin to prosecute this case. (Note, he has zero prosecutorial experience, but is apparently very capable of lighting a fire, so to speak)

4. Fani and Nathan are outed by Trumps people and there is no escape outside of lying, a lot, under oath.

5. Fani and Nathan gin up the most outrageous and obvious set of lies imaginable and roll them out in front of a Democratic superior court judge who is running this year for his seat, in a Democratic district.

6. The judge chokes down the testimony over several weeks. He is in a pickle. After deliberating, he splits the baby and issues a mysterious judgement that she either quits or fires her boyfriend. The judgement is patently incomprehensible.

7. In a syrupy statement, Fani “accepts” her stud muffin’s “resignation” to “protect democracy”.

8. This judgement has left legal scholars across the country collectively scratching their head and butts as they attempt to make sense of it.

9. Wade has a half million in the bank, Fani resumes her persecution of Trump and the judge has propped up his campaign to remain in office. Meanwhile the rest of the world is laughing at the state of our judiciary.

Save yourself the trouble of reading about this in the Democratic Party publicity arm, ie the media, and instead plan a great early spring week.

This folks, is how the man in the street sees this. Really easy stuff….

Charge on!

SR

This week has been a dandy. I have decided to catch folks up on the state of the union on our roads and streets, leaving the train wreck of a SOTU to the pundits who get paid to raise hell about such things. Traffic safety experts are focusing on the causes of our rising death rates on our highways, a consideration I was once paid to mitigate. You might be surprised as to the factors in play today reversing decades of decline in fatal accidents brought about by engineering and safety improvements.

Where are we? From 30,000 feet, our fatality rate is 3 times that of Canada and Australia and 5 times that of England and Scandinavian countries. The past decade, in America, has been unforgiving on our roads.

First up is physics. The true killer in an accident revolves around the dissipation of energy, mass in motion if you will. A human being at rest is dissipating little energy, where as if they are in motion, it takes energy to get them there and energy to stop them. The weight of SUVs and their higher center of gravity is a factor. The more weight that is in motion, the more energy is available to disassemble the human being attached to or in it. Simple really.

Next up, marijuana is making its presence known. One study has determined that about half of folks involved in serious accidents had at least one active drug in their systems. Most folks react to an impending crash by attempting, in some way, to avoid it. When you are mellowed out, smoking a fat boy of some exotic weed, you are not going to react quickly. Delay then triggers the chain reaction that results in everything coming to rest, often with bent steel and torn flesh, and far too often to those who were innocently motoring along, driving within the law.

While other considerations are in play, such as relaxed enforcement, cable and concrete barriers that preclude moving speed measurement (by patrol officers), the next clearly evident factor is the cell phone. In America you get one when you quit teething, and it has become a huge distraction in driving. In fact, these little devices are patently addictive. Despite half hearted attempts by governing bodies, drivers are routinely distracted while texting and manipulating their phones. This becomes even more deadly when done during hours of darkness. Take the physics issue and combine it with the uniquely American obsession with the cellphone and you are going to bend steel and rend flesh. The statistics don’t lie. Cellphone distraction is quickly rising to the top of the list of deadly obsessions.

I am preaching here, but have vivid memories of folks who have ended their day on a stainless steel or porcelain table in the preparation room of a local mortuary. Driving is a serious business that deserves strict attention not distraction or mental compromise. Engineering is wonderful, but will never displace the laws of physics or effects of mental compromise. Some 40,000 dead folks annually make my point.

Attila the Hun once remarked that you should not kill the Hun who brings the bad news, rather praise him. If you use your phone while driving or drive while toked up……I am talking directly to you. I make no apologies.

Have a great week!

SR