Pathogen Palaces….

The end of a remarkable streak of decent fall weather is upon us. The weather prognosticators are saying it is going to be cold and wet next week, which is a little late this year. It is to be expected as is the beginning of the cold and flu season which, according to the experts, is off to a booming start about a month earlier than usual. When you are 30 something, this is hardly newsworthy. When you are 70 something you tend to pay closer attention as these seasonal afflictions can be quite serious. I’m in the latter group and a trip to a local food trough, the Golden Corral, prompted a little research into the business of getting sick. It wasn’t pretty.

Given my extensive medical training (none) and generally fearless attitude (dangerous) I gave thought to just where these pathogens lie in wait. I have concluded that if you are interested in getting a good case of flu or snot slinging episode of the common cold, there are three places where this result can be all but guaranteed. I am likely turning into a germaphobe, but as they say, my work on earth ain’t done yet. I am not about to get into the discussion relative to vaccines, but in this house we religiously take the annual flu shots as well as pneumococcus vaccine. The only comment about Covid I am comfortable making is that it remains America’s 3rd leading cause of death, with old folks leading the charge.

First up on my short list of pathogen palaces are gas pump handles. Everyone touches them and gasoline is not on the list of effective antibiotics, contrary to common misconception. Pump handles are just plain nasty and folks have to buy gas, sick or well. I glove up when pumping gasoline and diesel, more to combat dragging the scent of the stuff into my vehicle than as a antimicrobial tactic. Many times I (and you) have seen folks (men particularly) gag and cough up a wad of God only knows what and spit on what-ever is handy at a pump island. Pumping gas and handling the filthy wooden handles of washer squeegees is a good way to become intimate with the latest flu bug or rhinovirus crawling around.

Next up are shopping cart handles. Another great place to share microbes with your sick neighbor. I suppose I am viewed as a fussy old reprobate when I seize the opportunity to use the ever present antiseptic wipes that give you a fighting chance against the coughing and gagging human Petri dish that just got through wiping his/her secretions on the handle. Remember, sick people have to eat, so they share their misery with the next cart handler out of necessity. A recent study concluded that 70+ percent of cart handles are contaminated with E.Coli, salmonella and campylobacter microbes as well as flu and virus pathogens, de-jour. Closely behind the carts are the touch screens we have been accustomed to at self checkouts. The danger here is apparent. Convenience for you and disease causing microbes.

Finally on my less than inclusive list of pathogen palaces is the neighborhood buffet, particularly the big eateries like the Golden Corral we patronized yesterday. The prices here are such that it is a popular place to showcase our gluttonous inclinations while we share microbes with the hundreds of like minded folks who seek nutrition at a bargain price. When you grab the spoon in the vat of brown beans, you are grabbing the resident microbes of that little old man, who is alternately blowing his nose and wiping his hands on his opposite sleeve. I don’t want to talk about what other places this guy has touched before transferring his collection of antibiotic resistant bugs to that handle where they have been incubating in the warm vapors of the steam table.

By now you get the picture. There are 7 states where the flu is in full bloom, primarily across the southeast, and the real experts are predicting a robust season for funeral directors when this stuff migrates to the rest of the country. In closing I should mention the 6 READILY available antibiotics that stand between you and misery. They are soap and water, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, heat, steam and alcohol. Surprisingly, gargling with hot salt water has shown at least marginal effectiveness against microbes. Be kind, be thoughtful and be defensive when frequenting one of the pathogen palaces mentioned in this article. I love my readers and would hate to see you succumb to a bug that you could have easily defensed against with a little extra effort. To do otherwise is to flirt with misery or, God forbid, the local mortuary staff at the “caring and dignity” shop down the street.

Have a great week!