Oh Hell No…..

This week started out pretty normal for a couple of aging middle Americans enjoying good health and many of the advantages that living in a conservative state offer. There is no evidence of defunding our police and we are free to own whatever appliances and cars we want to, within reason of course. We are not washing our clothes on a flat rock in a creek somewhere and our water comes through a pipe and not out of a cistern or hand dug well. We have however, reached the conclusion the conveniences of modern ordinary Americans is undoubtedly in the hands of a genie, like the Wizard of Oz, sitting at a console someplace, whose job it is to keep us grounded in reality and level the playing field.

When you get ahead a bit, the genie checks the work sheet and sends a reminder not to get complacent and confident. When Sharon slips into a room and calls me SR with just the right inflection and tone, I know something is off the tracks. This week was an example of the genie (probably sitting in China where most of what we use today is manufactured) catching us up on sticker shock and reality.

Our washer and dryer was in appliance hospice. Weak but functioning, with anybody’s guess as to when it was going to throw ace/deuce and put us in panic mode. Sharon listed the tired old appliances on a Facebook marketplace and gained 16 responses in 30 minutes. We recouped a pittance toward the purchase of new stuff priced high enough to require a stout Gin and Tonic and a moment of reflection. It was installed and promptly began leaking (drain hose improperly affixed to the machine) which is a good thing as we then discovered the dryer vent hose was not properly connected to the outlet. (The installers are connected to the genie)

Wednesday of this week, Sharon walks into my office with that easily recognized “SR’ and told me the microwave would not heat her coffee. It was, in fact, dead, making all the appropriate noises with no function. It had been repaired, under warranty, about a year ago. The warranty was expired (late March). We are replacing the microwave with a range hood and going to a table top model. Anyone working in an office knows these last for years, weaker but functioning.

Yesterday I slipped out to get the first rotation of the tires on the Orange Crush. The tech walked into the waiting area and told me they could not get the locking lug bolts to break free with the provided key. I took the car to the local BMW dealer who has master keys to handle this job. The tech found me after a bit and told me he broke two master keys but one of the bolts would not break free ( I wanted all lock bolts removed and thrown in the river, replaced with normal lug bolts.) He said they would likely have to drill the bolt out and ruin the wheel in doing so. The estimate was $1,498.00. My response was, with emphasis, “oh hell no”. I am still researching my options here. (Before you ask, the tire dealer assured me the bolts were hand torqued when I bought these tires 6 months ago.) Any ideas out there would be appreciated.

The genie has exacted a toll this week and we need no further evidence of the inflationary cycle we are living in. I want to find him, buy him a drink, and send him to Jeff Bezos’ place where money is not a concern. We have replaced nearly every damned appliance in our home and I have asked Sharon to please approach me carefully when the HVAV system goes on the fritz. We plan to take every extended warranty we are offered, something I have never considered before now, just to provide some peace of mind. Our neighbors have asked us to not touch anything major in their home and to put in a word with the genie if I can find him.

I mean nothing personal if you call me by name and I respond with “hell no”. It is a conditioned reflex and I am a little jumpy these days. Such is life in the middle class where convenience comes with a price!

Have a great week!

SR