My first experience with the call of the auctioneer was at the age of 9 when I stood with my grandfather, EC Cooke, at a tobacco auction in a small town in rural South Carolina. You don’t need to understand the staccato call of these guys….unless it is your pallet of tobacco being considered by industry buyers from P. Lorrilord or RJ Reynolds. I was fascinated and in awe of the big tobacco buyers who made these judgements on our tobacco.
I have attended all of 4 auctions in my adult life. I enjoy them but am fatally flawed. If you are even a little bit competitive and determined to win, please stay away from them. When we sold out of our place on Truman lake, we hired a well known auction company to conduct the sale of nearly everything we owned, save the clothes on our back. It was big sale, with 3 rings and a 1 acre parking lot filled with the cars and trucks of attendees. The rings were organized with one selling tools and equipment, one selling household furnishing and one for sporting equipment, including a number of rifles and shotguns. It was a success beyond our wildest imagination, raking in many thousands of dollars, much of which was in personal checks. I was needlessly concerned about the checks as every single one cleared with no problems. The chief auctioneer assured us this would be the result.
My first experience as a serious buyer was at a school auction in Warsaw to benefit a faculty member stricken with cancer. I noted that two gooseberry pies were being offered, allegedly from the finest gooseberry pie maker in Missouri. I love gooseberry pie and got in early, determined to take these pies home. This is where it gets interesting. Most folks dropped out at nearly 100.00 dollars, leaving me and a well healed gentleman, obviously better financed than me, locked in a bidding contest. A competitive nature and a large crowd watching this struggle, along with pride (not particularly well healed against wealth) and the fight was on. I bought the pies for north of 500.00 dollars and left with my pride intact and two allegedly wonderful pies. They were good, but not 500.00 dollars good. Sharon insisted I eat every last crumb, and I did.
This week we attended a large auction at the invitation of a good friend held by his Rotary Club. Sharon threatened to tape my hands to my forehead, less I repeat the pies fiasco. Four good seats and a parking pass to a November Chiefs game was put up along with a signed and framed Chris Jones jersey.
Uh oh. We have long since abandoned live NFL games as they are simply outrageous to pay for, and Sharon wanted to attend one more game at Arrowhead. I got in (we had done quick searches and knew what the package was worth) and found myself pitted against a man from a commercial bank sponsored table. Nearly 2 grand lighter I out dueled the banker guy and owned the jersey and seats. This was actually close to the retail for this package and we are satisfied at my foolishness as a patron at auctions.
I’ll end with this. To be successful at an auction, check your pride at the door, and manage your competitiveness as the next morning both will vanish.
Auctions are fun, and great buys can happen, but be damned careful. My terrible instincts have cost me a lot, but hey, it was fun. In fact auctions are a hoot!
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