Author: srj641

Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger was no stranger to the intracies of the United States Army.  In the Army of old, in his case the Korean War era, there was no room for folks who had a sexual identity issue.  Max Klinger was an elaborate cross dresser and spent his discretionary time trying to convince the officers in the 4077th surgical hospital to muster him out over his humorous attempts to convince them he was a transgender person.  We all sat back and laughed at his antics.  Few are laughing today.

As a rule, I seldom comment on matters of sexual preference, confusion or related issues.  I suspect most Americans are reasonably tolerant of these aberrations, choosing to ignore them as long as the issues aren’t forced into their living rooms.  While it is difficult to quantify, the best estimates are that about 0.03 percent of our population identifies as transgender.  If you’re into numbers that translates to around 700,000 folks out of 319,000,000.  Klinger wouldn’t make the list, his motives were rather obvious.  Had Klinger breezed into the ladies shower on MASH, it is likely the nurses led by Margaret Houlihan would have broken his obsession with an epic response.

What are we thinking?  I am long beyond being stunned by this President’s social engineering by executive fiat.  Are we going to disrupt our generally quiet tolerance of such personal issues by mandating the acceptance of the aberrations of a few folks who are genuinely struggling with a sexual identity crises?  Most importantly, how in the name of God are you going to manage this issue?  There are any number of creeps stalking our country fixing cameras in the furtherance of their voyeuristic inclinations……creeps that when caught, go to jail.  No need to sneak around now, just self identify as transgender and walk in to a public restroom…….the sign over the door indicating  gender means nothing.

The architects and builders will see green in the pursuit of this issue.  If I were building a new school today, I would construct a series of one user restroom facilities rather than large communal restrooms as is the custom today.  Expensive?  Yes.  It would not be as expensive as the societal costs associated with a cross dressing man entering a women’s communal restroom and walking out to the greeting of her husband, father or boyfriend who, in all likelihood, would respond with a different kind of “social engineering”.

Max Klinger, in later episodes was promoted to Sergeant and replaced Radar as the unit clerk.  He gave up on his attempts to earn a Section 8 discharge and returned to some degree of normalcy.  He famously quipped that it was useless to attempt convincing the Army he was crazy, as they were ALL crazy around him.  The characters in MASH were, indeed, goofy, however; America , as a whole, is not.  Again I ask, what are we thinking?

I was not raised in a sterile environment, with a mom chasing me around with an antibacterial wipe, ready to pounce on my face and hands in an effort to keep me from succumbing to a dread malady contracting by touching something “nasty”.  Indeed, as a kid, it was mandatory that I scrub my face and hands before taking my seat at the table, probably more from an aesthetic viewpoint than hygienic standpoint.  Yet, here I am, having survived thus far with only a isolated cold or case or two of flu on my record of pathogenic disease.

I will be the first to say that good fortune has been my co-pilot more often than not.  I vividly remember walking a line in Basic Training while medics, bathed in the July,  Ft. Polk, Louisana heat,  used pneumatic guns to inoculate us against typhus, malaria and God only knows what else we might encounter when  traveling abroad pursuing our soldierly obligations.  As I gain experience in the world, ( grow older) I make it a point to be very careful about tempting fate.  I keep alcohol gel in the door of my vehicles and am careful to liberally rub a glob into my hands after engaging in a variety of everyday tasks that involve touching stuff that less careful folks have handled.  Gas pump handles, grocery cart handles and bathroom door handles are on my list of prime locations for an errant flu bug or rhino virus to be lurking.  Bathrooms, in my mind, are wonderful incubators for any and all sorts of critters to live, all bent on adding me to the list of unfortunate souls who have died from things that are not usually fatal.  The gel follows a thorough hand scrub.

The cardio rehab facility that I visit daily during the week is located in a building also occupied by several physician offices.  They almost always are, there may even be a rule that a doctor’s office must be located near where folks who have suspect hearts go to strengthen these same hearts.  When I walk through the lobby of this complex, I note the miserable folks who are awaiting either a merciful death or timely intervention by the doctors occupying these offices.  They aren’t really interested in  where the various maladies plaguing them go from here.  They touch things;  doors, tables, magazines, pens and in the case of children, floors, walls and each other.  When I walk through, I smile and nod sympathetically, and stop just short of taking a bath in the hand sanitizer at the door.  I am too damned old to tempt fate around places where sick people congregate.

Deductive reasoning has led me to the conclusion the touch pad that opens doors for those who are honestly too infirm to pull or push a heavy door open alone is the location for a huge reunion of every vicious germ inhabiting our part of the world.  I don’t use them.  In fact I thank the Lord that I still have the strength to open the door, usually by leaning into it with my elbow or back……remember the handles are kryptonite for healthy folks.

This morning, I watched in shock, as a member of the staff in this clinic,  jabbering away on the cell phone, arms full of the armaments that staffers need, opened the door by kicking the pad with the bottom of her shoe!  Score one for the callous disregard for the norms of civility and a wasted education on the peripheral of medicine.  Pity the poor, miserable folks who have come seeking relief from a pathogen induced misery that must now contend with smearing their hands with the residue on the bottom of a shoe!  Nice touch……

Laugh, if you will, at my “alcohol gel in the car door”  fixation!  Today I am vindicated…….

Too many times as a Trooper, I found myself strangely cold on an early summer evening as I entered the back door of a funeral home, striding purposefully toward the door to the preparation room to conduct the business of identifying a young, fresh graduate of the local high school……ever mindful the killing season was underway.

Fellow Trooper Mike Mulholland and I could recite from memory the prom dates and graduation dates for every high school in our zone.  We concentrated our enforcement efforts in and around these rural Missouri towns as the annual ritual of graduation unfolded.  We knew, all to well, tragedy was lurking on the roads and highways around these towns and more often than not, our evenings would be spent, in part, dealing with the dark side of the celebration that accompanies this remarkable right of passage. My professional career was centered around seeing to it that folks left this world in a way that did not involve mechanized death.

Many emotions are put into play for me as my grand-daughter, Kaelin graduates this week.  I am very proud of her efforts, a good student who has earned every grade on her transcript. She is level headed, not at all risk prone and and she is apprehensive about the future.  Her maturity is comforting, however; I still worry.  The realization that my first grandchild is graduating is a reminder that time waits for no man and I am blessed to be standing at this point in my life.  Older I may be, but I have not forgotten the jubilation, make that exhilaration, that accompanies the night you don the cap and gown. There is a sense of accomplishment, freedom, and the adrenalin fueled high that most folks naturally allow to override their sense of caution……..a feeling of invincibility.  Experience and the cold grip of reality that is firmly riding my shoulder serves as a reminder that graduation week will be remembered differently for those that were visited by a Trooper standing on the front porch, feeling a chill, as he asks calmly if you are the parents of the young person he just left at the local funeral home.  Believe me when I tell you that for the parents who have endured this special kind of hell on earth, the mere sight of the funeral home they have driven by for years will be crushing for years to come.

The killing season is open.  I would ask that you talk with your senior and implore them to enjoy their accomplishment and celebrate within reason and certainly the law.  Remind them  there are numerous stakeholders in their accomplishment, folks who have, one way or another, invested in their success.  Automobiles have a way of enhancing the new freedoms……but can literally crush the hopes of everyone you know.  Their caution during the killing season will go a long way toward avoiding the back door of a funeral home for both them and the Troopers who go about the grim task of certifying the circumstances surrounding their death in a motor vehicle accident.  The reaper sharpens his scythe this time of the year……I can guarantee it.

Firstline supervision is where the rubber meets the road, a function that is absolutely critical to the success of a police organization.  In the Missouri State Highway Patrol, these line supervisors are called zone sergeants, and zones are usually limited to a county or two, which increases efficiency in terms of court appearances, coverages and the working knowledge of the people within your zone that you should know.  While I enjoyed my command experiences,  I am convinced the sergeant is the backbone of the profession.

My road career began under the tuteledge of one C.A. Pohle, an older sergeant who was level headed, calm in demeanor and handy with a pen or pencil. Cliff, as we knew him, didn’t raise his voice, was an excellent pursuit driver who when tooling around, not in pursuit, was an adventure to ride with. As I recall, Cliff began his career in 1949. He was old school, respectful and patient…..probably why I was relegated to his care.  Next was R.G. Plymell, who began his career in 1958. Bob was also old school.  He was not a journalist, was also very patient and respectful, and was difficult to understand on the radio as he always had an unlit cigar clenched in his teeth.  Bob would fool you.  He strongly believed you let the violator set the tone and you came in with just a pinch more dignity and respect than they afforded you.  He was methodical, thorough and had a work ethic that didn’t stop.  Bob knew a lot about a lot of things, and set the tone for guys like Mike Mulholland and me when we really needed tone setting.  Finally, I began the transition to Sergeant under the supervision of J.S. Gordon.  John was a shrewd individual, a strong writer and very capable investigator.  He was an excellent conversationalist, a skill that served him well in his career.  These three officers were a credit to the organization and developed many fine officers assigned to their watch over the years.

Interestingly, all of these officers were exceedingly respectful in their dealings with their subordinates and the public they served.  We were taught, early on, that the detection and apprehension of miscreants was not personal and that there is always room for dignity…..until the bad guy closed off that approach.  Like any well trained and seasoned officer, all three prefered the path of least resistance……..but would kill you if left with no choice.  It is the nature of the business.

Police commanders make judgements every day relative to the propriety of a given action or response by their officers.  After all, policing is delivered in a para-military fashion.  This being said, it is the sergeant who provides the real world guidance on those same actions as they unfold.  I remember my commanders with respect and, in some cases awe, but it was and is the sergeant you live with on a daily basis.

We must never forget the impact of the Zone Sergeant.  As the sergeant goes……so goes the zone.  The sergeant really IS the backbone  of the police world.  ( Photo: L-R, Sgt RG Plymell, Lt. WB Darnell, Marion Lucas, Fair Director, Sgt SR Johnson, Sgt PM Mulholland)

I spent a professional lifetime in search of turbulence.  It is what law enforcement officers do, whether the issue is discovered proactively or you are summoned to it.  The well adjusted individual, on his or her way to work, is of little interest to us beyond the obvious acknowledgement they were not requiring our attention.  In fairness, every generation can identify turbulence in their time…..but we are well into issues today that are polarizing beyond comprehension.

Take the public bathroom thing.  I can remember over sold events at the Missouri State Fair grandstand, designed for crowds half the size that were ticketed for a show.  We had to post a trooper in the men’s restroom to bring dignity to the undignified reality of women, whose restrooms were woefully undersized, relieving themselves while interested men, awaiting their turn in line, watched.  The fights between concerned boyfriends and spectators could really turn nasty.  We all knew the rules…..but necessity is the mother of invention and the resulting turbulence had to be dealt with.

Today, the rules are changing and the resulting polarization is going to get someone hurt….likely killed.  The whole transgender thing isn’t new….what is new is legislating and mandating their intrusion into the norms of our society.  A respectable aviation magazine that I read, in a recent issue, featured an article about Bruce Jenner or Kaitlan, who happens to be a pilot.  Why?  Was it because he, she or it is a terrific pilot with some unusual skill or because of the lack of definitive sexual orientation?  Here we go again, turbulence.  To me, the answer is obvious…..there should be three bathrooms, one for men, one for women and one with “confused” over the door.  If we are going to acknowledge this turbulence, then let’s work to minimize it’s affects.  I’m guessing there won’t be much of a line at the “confused” door………

Another bit of turbulence surrounds this Administration’s decision to change the picture(s) on our currency.  There is little point in arguing the contribution of Ms. Tubman as an abolitionist, she earned her acclaim.  Rather, the question is why, in these troubled times, would you go about creating additional turbulence.  Why would you, the President, make it a point to praise “Black Lives Matter”?  More turbulence?  Is the “right thing to do” always the right thing to do?  This election cycle is on track to be as derisive,  derogatory and generally unpalatable as any in recent history……talk about turbulence!

I suppose the transition, for me, is complete.  From a career of actively seeking turbulence to an existence that generally avoids it. Pilots know a lot about turbulence and the smart ones avoid it whenever possible.  It is all about comfort and…….safety.  I suspect most of us can understand the analogy between flying and living.

Think about it.

The folks who know a lot about a lot of things are promising rain today, much needed for our farming community and to fill the lake that we enjoy.  I am up early this morning, preparing to squeeze a fishing expedition in between the sunrise and promised rain.  The picture is what greeted me…..a gift from the Master.  I trust he won’t mind my tinting it blue from the beautiful red that suggests that “red skies at morn, sailors be warned”.

I chose blue to continue the remembrance of those in the uniformed services who continue to bet their lives on our well being and lose……

It seems as if this casual indifference is being extended from our law enforcement officers to fire fighters, with these folks increasingly being targeted by people who obviously do not get it.  For them, I have included the picture below, in glorious red, representative of their profession.

Yesterday, I discussed the unbelievable good fortune that most of us enjoy.  We cannot become complacent, nor can we take this good fortune for granted.  For the most part our existence, in a relatively orderly society, is because we have rules and folks who either enforce them or work hard to minimize the damage that results from either ignoring or challenging them.

Of course, I have no idea what the Master had mind when he sent these photo opportunities, but am fortunate once again to note them and bend them to my agenda.

To say thank you isn’t much, but today it is all I have…..with a couple of pictures for emphasis.

Sharon and I were out and about for awhile yesterday afternoon, as it was just too pretty to not do something on a nearly perfect day.  We stopped at a local, national chain eatery for lunch and enjoyed a totally unremarkable hamburger, served on a bun slightly older than Sharon…..probably close to my age and that, my friends,  is an old bun!  Rather than grouse, an appropriate response these days to about everything, we talked about how fortunate we really are.  (The picture is of my grand-daughter, Kaelin)

We are fortunate to be selecting a President in a democratic fashion.  Rather than throw my hat into that fray prematurely, I choose to let the pot boil a bit longer….surprises are the norm in this business, and I am confident there will be much more suspense.  We are fortunate that whatever is finally agreed upon will likely not dent our lifestyle much, but will certainly give us reason to grouse a little more.

We are fortunate to be oblivious to whatever ailments are lurking within us, able to still enjoy the activities we choose.  There are many whose lot in life has emerged from behind door three, a sobering reminder that health trumps riches and reward, every day of the week.

We are fortunate to enjoy the company of like minded friends and the freedom to smile broadly and walk away from those who do not share our philosophies, goals and activities.  Conversely, we are fortunate to have friends who do not share these considerations, thus offering us an opportunity to see life from a different angle.  I can guarantee you will walk into a post, sooner or later, if you do not keep your eyes open in our country today!

We are fortunate in that we enjoy a “normal” family, perhaps a stretch here and there.  Our children and grandchildren are reasonably well adjusted and productive folks.  Quirky, perhaps, surprising at times, but always there when you circle the wagons in response to an external threat.

We are fortunate to have tastes within our means.  You don’t miss what you have never experienced, sort of like power steering or electric windows.  These conveniences were abstract until you used them………I have always loved Corvettes, but until acquiring one a few years ago, was okay without one.  Now, my attention has turned to airplanes, a consideration that makes a new Corvette look pretty mundane….

Finally, today’s assignment is to grab the positive side of your life and go with it.  Start with a really good coffee (my favorite is Marley, Mystic Morning) do something purely impulsive (legal of course) and roll with the day.

Choose to be fortunate, not to be confused with Pollyanna, and own the day, whether it be fishing, mushroom hunting or enjoying the Cards or Royals.  A road trip sounds good to me…I know where we can grab a really good pizza.  It looks like a great morning to uncover the Red Baron, and enjoy that Harley resonance..

It is good to be fortunate..

Yesterday, I spent the day with an old friend, let’s call him Ralph, chasing the ever elusive king of sport fish, the crappie.  I am not much on boat riding when the crappie are moving in for their annual ritual of producing more crappie, instead preferring to sneak around quietly behind the trolling motor anticipating the “bump” that crappie fishermen live for.  I am anything but politically correct, so “fisherman” is, to me, synonymous with fisherwomen, fisherkid, or fisherfolks……..I trust you’ll understand.

To suggest that Americans are competitive is an understatement that is unequivocal, sort of like suggesting that coffee is “not bad” first thing in the morning.  When fishermen gather to discuss the day’s activities, numbers are going to come up in the discussion sooner or later, mostly sooner.  If not the total number of fish, then surely the length of the “hawg” that may or may not have made it to the live well for his last ride before the indignity of the filet knife.  The size of the crappie that comes unbuttoned at boat side is going to be described, invariably, as “a really nice fish” ……..even though we are measuring him by the unscientific method of suggesting size by whether or not the other fisherman saw the scrap between his partner and the fish…….a very reliable methodology!  Most fishermen, when describing the day’s tally, rely on a time proven script. We tend to talk about the number of fish in the boat, irrespective of who caught more than the other.  Believe me when I suggest there are far more rituals associated with fishing than one might see at a Masonic initiation….

Now to the point at hand……who has the advantage in a boat?  Is it the fisherman up front, or the fisherman in the back?  Well, I could be voted out of the brotherhood, but I am going to let this truth be known.  If the angler in the front catches MORE fish than the poor fellow in the back, then he has the advantage.  He sees new water first, can maneuver the boat to his advantage, and is 20 or so feet closer to new structure, thus guaranteeing his success.  This is where it gets complicated.  If the angler in the front catches FEWER fish than the fellow in the back, it is because he is tasked with running the trolling motor, watching for trees, boat eating docks and ladders, and the demanding mental task of deciding which bank to run while all the while reading the wind and determining approach strategy.  If carefully managed, these rules will provide cover for both anglers when they chortle about their success, or lack thereof, when describing the day’s adventure to those interested in such weighty matters.  Over the course of my fishing career, I have seen this ritual masterfully orchestrated by clever fishermen repeatedly.  It is a skill that makes even clever attorneys envious.  By the way, the fish in the top photo is not a crappie, but is bigger than a crappie, bigger is better, right?

So, how did we do yesterday?  The reflective and clever reader can easily figure this out by reading this post…..but I will give you a huge hint…..

I was in the front of the boat.

Steve Davis, a Highway Patrol Lieutenant that I very much respect, recently posted a picture or two on Facebook with his kids.  His posting was in response to some form of a challenge to post a picture representing his happiness at being a dad.  He did well…….

There  have been a number of articles and observations recently that call attention to the young folks that are having difficulty figuring it out, you know…..the kids who want a free education and are easily offended by virtually anything they perceive as a threat to their well being.  The media is all too happy to capitalize on the anguish of these confused young people, it is a better story than an article about the huge numbers of young folks  who are doing just fine these days.  I can only imagine the challenge that young folks are facing today with the electronic Renaissance, mobility and affluence they are managing.  There are more than a few of us who would fail miserably in this environment requiring infinitely more sophistication than that required to make it to baseball practice on time, set the points and timing in our muscle cars and bag groceries on weekends.

I have raised two kids that I am proud of.  They are very different people, motivated by different mindsets and triggers, who work very hard every day to contribute to the greater good.  Who among us hasn’t made mistakes along the way…..perfection is a high bar, but I can say with certainty they have benefitted from their experiences and have reasonable expectations that are centered around a defined work ethic.  The vast majority of the new generation gets it and are acquiring the wisdom to keep America on track….even if they don’t get the headlines.  They have no problem tapping into our collective wisdom and experience and I have no problem recognizing their technical skill and familiarity with the complexity of life today.  This synergy is really beautiful…..if we can be objective with each other.

In all honesty, we made some really bad calls growing up and, for the most part, have still contributed solidly to the fabric of America….by negotiating  the hills and curves that are on every road. Our children are navigating a very complex road to success and we can be proud of their perseverance, offering our perspective for their consideration as they refine their decision making strategy.  I tend to ignore the confused young folks who are busy being offended and admire those who understand that being offended goes with the turf.  It has been said that age and treachery trump youth and enthusiasm every day of the week…..

……..don’t bet on it today.  This new generation is clever in ways we can only admire and I have faith in their ability to keep us on track.  Youth, enthusiasm and smart……..

You have to like it!

For me, it began in the heat of July 2, 1971, when we reported to the academy to begin the transformation from civilian to peace officer.  The military veterans in our class enjoyed a marginal advantage over the non-veterans, an advantage that was soon negated by a training staff that very quickly exacted uniformity among us.  It was a fascinating introduction into the intracacies of police science, technique and equipment.  We were clueless as to the tremendous advancements that we would see over the next 25-35 years……advancements eclipsed by the pace of technology  today.  The game has changed……our officers today are better equipped, educated, trained, and efficient.  It is difficult to imagine what today’s officers will see in their careers.  This technical evolution continues, however; the core strength of policing is still the individual officer and his or her understanding of human nature.  Today’s technology enhances and facilitates the job our centurions do today but does not replace the human interaction that is the genesis of every police action.

My daughter is a state trooper.  I am no longer relevant in her professional world, and that is how it should be.  When I look into her boat or Patrol vehicle, my limitations slap me coldly and quickly into reality.  The communication capability and unbelievably quick response of data from multiple sources is staggering.  She is a marine officer, a demanding and exacting specialization.  Within her field of expertise, she is a sub-specialist, with an aptitude for child advocacy and the interviewing process that is central to the business of juvenile involved crime.  She is appropriately cynical……..experienced officers know exactly what this means.  Perfection in this career choice is virtually non-existent, however; I have watched her interview folks in the course of her business, and she is very perceptive.  She is opinionated but restrained. ( I have never been able to master the restrained part.)  She understands the delicate balance between professional and family obligation, and can dance between the demands of both with aplomb.  She is transitioning nicely into the world of supervision.  She is one of the new centurions……….

The expectations we have for our police professionals today constantly push the envelope.  This is not a turnkey business, where rattling a few doors in the retail district will suffice on a slow night.  A radio communication requesting information relative to a license plate has been replaced by scanners on the top of cruisers that can electronically scan license plates as you drive by them in a parking lot.  Within minutes, we can check a fingerprint against an enormous, national database for the information that once took weeks to receive.  Jurisdictional lines are steadily being blurred and communication between agencies is virtually instantaneous.  These advances have dramatically increased the effectiveness of policing, however……

…….effective communication between the officer and a citizen, irrespective of the circumstances, is still the gold standard for measuring the successful officer.  Eye to eye contact, carefully managed by today’s officer, is where it all starts.

Our debt to the New Centurions will never be fulfilled, and our expectations will only increase.  I am betting they are up to the task…..